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Hilarious tamil woman in U.S.

The following is an excerpt from a blog (written by an Indian in America)
Wednesday, September 28, 2005

En per padum paadu!!!

My full name is Kalaivani, but I call myself Kalai. This is not for scene,...like how Madhavan does in Anbe Sivam (Anbarasu --> Ars).it has a looooong and pathetic history... I started hearing different versions of my name after coming to this country, and the painful fact is all the possible permutations and combinations of vowels in my name give meaningful words in tamil!!!

When I first joined the university, my professor wrote to me..

Dear KALAvani (meaning: thief; context: kalavani paya..)

... ... ...

Sari adhuvachum typo nu free ya vittudalam..

Then after a year, I joined a company for internship.those people called me

before I joined, to inform me about some test which I had to take..

"Hello is this Ms. Kizhavaani?" (meaning: old; context : kizha bolt..etc.)

"No..this is KALAIvaani"

"Ohh..am sorry KALAvaani" (Marupadiyum...)

Then I decided.periya pera irukkinala thane ivlo confusion?!! So, I started

calling myself 'Kalai'... but the story continued..

I joined my full-time position in another company recently. On my first day, we had a meeting..

"Let's all welcome our new associate.Ms. Kulai" (meaning: bunch; context: kulai kulaiyai vazhaipazham kaaithadhu)

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! Followed by smiles.

(Dei.ennangada... ellarum serndhu comedy panreengala???)

Anniku arambichadhu...

Once my boss and I were talking about a project... after finishing the meeting...

"Ok, Kali. Nice to have you here!" (meaning: last yuga; context: kali muthi pochu.)

"That's KALAI" (Enakku idhu thevaya?!)

"Ohh kAALi?" (meaning: goddess; context: badrakaali..)

"Hee hee .very close" (Podaannnggg...!!)

So, I stopped correcting my name after that..!

One fine morning, I was working.

"Hey kiLai (meaning: branch; context: marakiLai) .howz it going?"

"Yea good" (Sollitu thirumbitten. Nammaluku edhuku indha per thiruthura business nu...)

"Is that how you say your name?"

(Aaahaa arambichutanya...!!!)

"Uhhh. It's KALAI"

"Kolaai?" (meaning:pump; context: kozhai adi sandai.)

(Venaaammm...)

"Kolai?" (meaning: murder; context: kolai panniduven..)

(Venaam!)

"kaLai?" (meaning: weed; context: kaLai pudinguradhu.)

(Valikkudhu... azhudhuduven...)

"May be I'll get your name with practice. Haha."

(Idhellam remba over da dei... Tamil la paatha rende rendu ezhuthu thaan

da!!!)

Ennada, Chandramukhi la thalaivar 'durga' perai nakkaladikkira maathiri...

namma per ayiduche nu nenaikkum podhu... my friend came up with a brilliant idea!

Adhavadhu... to compare my name with a word.so I started using this word 'kaleidoscope'; which has the same pronunciation as 'kalai'!

So, I started telling everyone. 'Kalai as in kaleidoscope'!. Ippo kooda

romba ellam ozhunga solradhulla. They are saying 'kalaai' (kalaaikiradhu)..

"Hey Kalaai!!"

"Yea?"

"Just trying to say your name. Ha ha ha"

"Ohhh ..how sweet!" (thooo thEri..)

Yedho vaandhi edukkira effect la per irundhalum... my life was in peace...

until few days back...

My net connection was down, so I called up the customer service (En kiragam. Madras call center ku pochu!)

Enakku andha vishayame theriyala. So I started in complete American accent...

"Your name ma'am?"

"Kalaai"

"What? Can you repeat ma'am?"

" Kalaai as in kaleidoscope"

"I didn't get that ma'am. Can I have your number? I can check the records"

(Sigh!... and gave the number)

"Ohh, Kalaivani, right?" (in a sarcastic tone.)

(Ada paavi makka... nee nammooora??!!! All American accents stopped. Back to Indian accent.)

I could clearly see what he was thinking... per paatha 'urs pammingly' nu podra category maathiri irukku... scene podradhu mattum princess Diana

range kaa...

Anna... naan sathyama andha maathiri illeeenganna!!!

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Just a translation in Tamil (To see how it will be), don't confuse. Save: veaichukoo Save As: aiyye, apdiyea veaichukoo Save All: allaathaium veaichikoo Help: odhavu Find: paru Find Again: inoru dhaba paru Move: appla po Mail: postu Mailer: posttuman Zoom: persaa kaattu Zoom Out: velilavanthu persaa kaattu Open: theraa naina Close: pothiko New: pucchu Old: palsu Replace: itha thooki athle podu, athe thooki ithle podu Run: odu naina Execute: kollu Print: poster podu Print Preview: paathu poster podu Cut: vettu - kuthu Copy: E-adichan kaapi Paste: ottu Paste Special: nalla echcha thottu ottu (too good!!!) Delete: keechidu Virus: mamiya kodumai View: look-vudu Tools: spannaru Toolbar: spanner setu Spreadsheet: perisheetu Database: dappaa Exit: odra dei Compress: amuki-podu Mouse: eli Click: potu sathu Double Click: rendu dhabaa potu sathu Scrollbar: inge angae alathadi Pay Pre View: dhudukku bayascoppu Next: appaala Previous: munaangati Trash Bin: koovam aaru Solitaire: mangaatha Drag...

Beauty of Maths!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9 12 x 8 + 2 = 98 123 x 8 + 3 = 987 1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876 12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765 123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654 1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543 12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432 123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321 1 x 9 + 2 = 11 12 x 9 + 3 = 111 123 x 9 + 4 = 1111 1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111 12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111 123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111 1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111 12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111 123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111 9 x 9 + 7 = 88 98 x 9 + 6 = 888 987 x 9 + 5 = 8888 9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888 98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888 987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888 9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888 98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888 Brilliant, isn't it? And finally, take a look at this symmetry: 1 x 1 = 1 11 x 11 = 121 111 x 111 = 12321 1111 x 1111 = 1234321 11111 x 11111 = 123454321 111111 x 111111 = 12345654321 1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321 11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321 111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321